The No Contact Rule After Separation: What You Need to Know

by Lynn Smith-Lovin | Last Updated: April 18, 2022

It’s hard to imagine a world without your partner. After all, you’ve been together your whole life, sharing one of the most important relationships of your lifetime. The two of you have been through so much together, and now that the two of you are no longer together, you may be worried about the future. What are the chances of you ever getting back together? How will you cope when you’re no longer together? What’s the best way to move forward?

If you’re like most people, separation is difficult for you both. It marks the end of a chapter in your life that you’ll have to get used to living apart from the person you love. There are many challenges ahead, but there are also many ways you can help ease the transition. Keep reading for information about the no contact rule after separation, and tips for getting through the tough times.

No contact after breakup woman

The no contact rule after a breakup will improve your mental health

What is the No Contact Rule After Separation?

The no contact rule is a basic guideline that you should follow when you’re separated. It ensures that you maintain a boundary between your current relationship and your new, single life.

No contact is simply staying away from your ex. You should avoid any type of communication with them, such as talking to them on the phone, sending them text messages, or seeing them in person.

Why Is a No Contact Rule After Separation Important?

Communication is a huge part of any relationship. When you’re in a romantic relationship, you have to speak to your partner in order to understand their feelings, and to make your own wellbeing a priority.

No contact rule boundaries

You are not in a relationship anymore, remember to set your boundaries

When you break up with someone, you need to maintain the no contact rule in order to keep yourself safe. You should never get back together with someone you’ve been involved with while you’re still living with your previous partner. A no contact rule is a common-sense safety measure that prevents you from accidentally going back into an emotionally dangerous situation. When you’re no longer in a romantic relationship, you shouldn’t communicate with your ex.

This includes talking to them on the phone, sending them text messages, or seeing them in person. This rule is especially important for new couples who are trying to figure things out for themselves. Even if you’ve known your partner for years, there’s always a chance that you may still have strong feelings for them. While it’s true that the no contact rule is not always feasible, it’s important to be aware of your boundaries so that you can make informed decisions about what you’re willing to put up with.

How to Apply the No Contact Rule After Separation

When you’re separated and following the no contact rule, it’s important to be aware of the boundaries that separate your new, single life from your previous relationship.

It may feel like you’re not allowed to talk to your partner, but remember that it’s your job as a grown-up to maintain boundaries when they don’t feel right.

It’s okay to text your partner, and it’s even okay to send them short messages when you’re planning a meet-up or a trip together. You should never initiate contact with them, however, even when you’re planning something that you’re both involved in together.

Tips for Implementing the No Contact Rule

Keep your cellphone in your bag or your car at all times. This way, you can always hand it over to a friend or family member when you’re planning to talk to your partner. If you receive a phone call from someone you know, you’re allowed to answer it. Don’t, however, talk to your caller for more than a minute or two. Put your phone down and walk away right away.

Don’t talk to your partner when you’re with your ex. You can say hello while you’re in the same room, but don’t engage in conversation, no matter how casual. Try to avoid staying overnight at your ex’s house. If you’re invited, don’t feel pressured to go.

no contact rule on the phone

You might feel tempted to use your phone,

Possible Exceptions to the No Contact Rule

It’s important to note that there are certain exceptions to the no contact rule, including for: Your job, your children’s needs, medical help, if someone is hurting you and you need help, getting to a safe place If someone else is hurt, you should call 911 and get help. Also, if you’re in danger, call someone to help you get out of the situation. If you’re not in danger, don’t try to handle it on your own.

Conclusion

The no contact rule is a basic guideline that you should follow when you’re separated. It ensures that you maintain a boundary between your previous relationship and your new, single life.

No contact is simply staying away from your ex. You should avoid any type of communication with them, such as talking to them on the phone, sending them text messages, or seeing them in person. It may feel like you’re not allowed to talk to your partner, but remember that it’s your job as a grown-up to maintain boundaries when they don’t feel right. It’s important to be aware of the boundaries that separate your new, single life from your previous relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions
How do I keep boundaries with someone?

Do it carefully and politely but firmly. If possible, do it on neutral ground. Establish definite adverse consequences for crossing those boundaries and be ready to enforce those consequences if your boundaries are crossed. Clearly communicate that the consequences are the result of your boundaries being crossed and that this is not a one-time reaction.

Is it true that if you don't contact your ex after a breakup then they'll come back to you?

It’s different for everyone. Sometimes they come back and sometimes they don’t. There are so many outcomes that can happen after a breakup for both people. If someone is meant for you, they will be for you regardless of what happened during the relationship.

Does no contact really work?

The brain and especially the memory part, is remarkable. It replaces old memories with new ones every day when they arent relived or renewed. Without contact, those memories of the touch, and feel, will fade.