Post-Breakups Do’s and Don’ts (10 Tips For Healing)

by Lynn Smith-Lovin | Last Updated: April 18, 2022

When we end a relationship so many things can happen. It is important to put our well-being first, special in times when emotions run high. If you are dealing with some post-breakup effects, don’t forget that it is temporary and things will eventually pass, there are always new experiences in the future, you just can’t see them yet.

For now, take a deep breath and realize that this is normal, it’s just a part of life.

man and woman having a breakup

A breakup is also de beginning of a new journey

Don’t Remain Friends

Relationships change from person to person. We have to understand that a partner and a friend are two completely different things. Going back to a friendship is possible, but there are so many other factors to consider. Even if you are OK with a friendship, what about your ex’s emotions?

A friendship proposal could come across as tone-deaf, especially if your former partner still has strong feelings for you. So, take your time, respect their healing process and keep your distance. Things will fall into place eventually. Who knows? Maybe your way will cross again eventually.

Let Your Feelings Go

Sometimes things can become confusing, but once you realize the relationship is over… it’s over. The best thing you can do is to treasure all those memories and move on with your life. It is just a breakup, not the end of the world. It is very important to remember that your life should never revolve around someone else, you still have to take care of yourself.

Love is a strong feeling, it is something that we can’t fully understand. Only you know your specific situation, so stay honest and true to yourself. You are the only one that can sense your pain, it is just the first step of the healing process.

Don’t Look For A Rebound Relationship

An urge for validation might arise after a breakup. This often pushes people to seek attention from others. We have to be fine being single, we have to be comfortable being alone.

Getting into a rebound relationship due to depression or grief will not bring you proper closure and, worst of all, you won’t be able to bond with someone new if you are still going through a recovery process. Focus on self-love, there will be a point in the future for a new relationship.

Allow Yourself To Be Sad

A heartbreak will change your mood drastically and sad thoughts might come more often. But that is OK, everyone will experience some kind of sadness at moments in our lives. We also have to be extremely careful, an unstable emotional estate can lead to hurtful behaviors with lifetime consequences.

Your health must be your priority above everything else. You will feel joy again, never forget that. Take all the steps necessary in your process.

man alone after breakup

Spend time on your own to learn more about yourself

Don’t Have Breakup Sex

Breakups can lead to weird grey areas and the temptation to continue with sexual encounters might appear. The truth is that, if you break up for a reason, it will be heavy enough to impact other aspects, including the sex part. You should respect each other’s space, your body and avoid awkward mistakes.

Once a decision is made, contact must be cut as much as possible. There are a lot of better ways to reconnect with your ex if that is what your heart wants. Chances are that sex will only make things more complicated if a feeling of anger persists.

Define If You Will Stay In Touch

Cutting contact is extremely important, but many times, it is not 100% possible. You might have friends in common, work in the same place or take the same course. You can also agree to maintain communication for many valid reasons, like sharing custody of a child. The plain fact is that you can run into your ex-partner at any moment you leave your house.

It is also important to mention that you should not avoid the places you like or stop doing the hobby you love. These activities are key to your self-care and will help you with your loss. And it is also important to keep things professional if you are linked by your work.

Don’t Stalk Your Ex

There is nothing positive about visiting their Facebook, Instagram or other social media, period. Every post will lack context and this can mess up your mind with no relief whatsoever. It’s a form of jealousy. Just imagine if you are scrolling through their photos and see something that will bring tears to your eyes.

Fortunately, most sites have an option to mute/block their profile, hiding all the content related to your ex. I you want to catch up with them, it’s better to be upfront and send a message expressing your intentions. This way, you can get the update straight from the source.

woman dealing with social media after breakup

Social media is a major source of anxiety

Talk About It With Your Friends

At some point, you have to vent out your feelings. Your loved ones will be worried if you don’t take the time to let it all out. Remember that they are there to support you and comfort you. Talk to your family or to a good friend, they will surely do anything to help you in your journey. You can invite someone you trust to your home or a place where you feel safe, eat some comfort food and make plans for your healing road.

Don’t Post About The Breakup On Social Media

Nowadays, it’s so easy to grab your phone and start a long list of public complaints about your ex with just the touch of a finger. Anyone can see this and use it for malicious purposes. There are 0 positives from venting out in this manner and it will end your relationship on bad terms.

If you have a hot head and think about writing a huge wall of text, stop completely, look at yourself in the eyes, and take a trip to a place with no internet connection until you feel less angry.

Go To Therapy

Lastly, if things are really bad, find a good therapist. There are experts that will take you by the hand through all the stages of a breakup and shed light on things that you might have missed. Their advice can help you to design the best plan for your post-breakup process. Taking care of your mental health must be your number one priority.

If you don’t have the time or can’t afford to see a therapist, you can always read a book, change your routine, develop new habits, exercise and work to become the best version of yourself.

breakup therapy

Your mental health is important, talk to a professional

Frequently Asked Questions
How does one cope with lost time in love after a breakup?

You continue moving forward. Time will heal. It may take years, go with it. A breakup feels like a death because it is. It’s the death of a relationship that was built. It becomes more complicated as emotions are involved.

Seek counseling if you have a difficult time coping, many therapy techniques are proven to help.

How do I fall in love after a hard breakup?

After a hard breakup a lot healing could be needed. You should take time to reflect and sort things out. You should be aiming to fall in love with yourself and then the right person will come at the right time! Let it happen, naturally.

Can exes fall back in love after years have passed since the breakup?

Yes, if you both know what you want in life, if you both know that you are better people, if you both know that you will not go back to the people you once were and can work on doing better then yes.